11. Continue until all weight is regained. Then ask, “Hey, you’ve been on that diet a long time now, how much have you lost?”
12. Keep calling her at work to find out what time she plans to get home and what she plans to make for dinner. Make sure you’re just not in the mood for whatever she’s making.
13. When the opportunity arises be sure to cut the grass in your brand new white trainers.
14. When you retrieve your clothes from the closet leave the hanger in place and pull on the clothing until the hanger is mangled enough to allow the article to slip off.
15. Tell her something for the first time and act shocked that she didn’t know about it. Pout and exclaim, “And you have the nerve to say I never listen to YOU.”
16. When you know she’s grocery shopping, disappear! Come home just in time to watch her carry the last bag in. Grab the receipt and say, “I’ll get the rest of it for you dear.” Feign surprise when she says that’s it. End with, “This is all you got for how much?”
17. When ogling a woman say, “Sure she’s gorgeous, but remember she’s young. I remember when you looked good too.”
18. On the odd occasion you actually clean up a disgusting mess you made, use the best towels in the house.
19. As your stomach grows just wear your pants lower and flop it over the waistband. Then brag that unlike your wife, you still wear the same size you did when you got married.
20. Wait until the night before you go on vacation and say, “Hon, you know the underwear and socks you packed for me? Well, the elastic is shot and I need new ones.”
12. Keep calling her at work to find out what time she plans to get home and what she plans to make for dinner. Make sure you’re just not in the mood for whatever she’s making.
13. When the opportunity arises be sure to cut the grass in your brand new white trainers.
14. When you retrieve your clothes from the closet leave the hanger in place and pull on the clothing until the hanger is mangled enough to allow the article to slip off.
15. Tell her something for the first time and act shocked that she didn’t know about it. Pout and exclaim, “And you have the nerve to say I never listen to YOU.”
16. When you know she’s grocery shopping, disappear! Come home just in time to watch her carry the last bag in. Grab the receipt and say, “I’ll get the rest of it for you dear.” Feign surprise when she says that’s it. End with, “This is all you got for how much?”
17. When ogling a woman say, “Sure she’s gorgeous, but remember she’s young. I remember when you looked good too.”
18. On the odd occasion you actually clean up a disgusting mess you made, use the best towels in the house.
19. As your stomach grows just wear your pants lower and flop it over the waistband. Then brag that unlike your wife, you still wear the same size you did when you got married.
20. Wait until the night before you go on vacation and say, “Hon, you know the underwear and socks you packed for me? Well, the elastic is shot and I need new ones.”
